"They're Norwegian, Mac."
Okay, so I'm not writing about John Carpenter's The Thing -- but the film I'm focusing on is Norwegian, and since I don't speak Norwegian, and I didn't want to quote English subtitles for a Norwegian movie...
Cold Prey is a 2006 film that is a perfect blend of The Shining and (Insert Classic American Slasher Film Here). Okay, the second reference by omission appears snarky and vague, but I'm intentionally doing so -- because to compare it to something like Friday the 13th would be doing an incredible disservice to Cold Prey. Why? Because it's so much better than that.
This review/examination/diatribe is going to be much shorter than the last one for two reasons.
One -- because Cold Prey is not as well known a film, and I don't want to spoil it -- instead imploring you to see it as soon as possible.
Two -- because the last review/examination/diatribe was way too long, and I'm already behind, and I have shit to do, etc...etc...etc...
The plot of Cold Prey starts out pretty standard, with a group of Norwegians -- two couples, and the usual comedic relief fifth wheel -- who go snowboarding. But of course it would be too easy to go snowboarding where others snowboarders routinely go. Too crowded, obviously. So they decide to go to a mountain range in the middle of nowhere, where picturesque alps with virgin snow await them.
But their fun is cut short when the fifth wheel takes a bad fall and breaks his leg.
And there they are, miles and miles from their car and even further from civilization, it's getting dark, and they need to find shelter/medical help fast.
One of them sees a building on an adjacent mountain, an they head over to discover it is an abandoned hotel.
So they set up shop, and it's going to be awesome, and the hotel register details the place has been closed since 1975...
...and then one of the group is fucking slaughtered by a huge guy with a pickaxe.
...and then they find a storage room, that at first glance appears to bean old lost-and-found full of countless people's personal belongings. Except that, on closer inspection, they see that most of the items are a hell of a lot more recent than 1975.
I think you know where this is going.
And after it's over...
...it's not really over.
(Sorry about the link. There are English subtitled trailers on YouTube, but the blog-link-accessible ones don't have them. So head on over to your nearest YouTube dealer for a version you can understand)
Much like 1981's Halloween II (how it pains me to have to put the year in there to distinguish it from RZ's sequel), Cold Prey 2 picks up immediately after the first one started. And also like Halloween II, much of the film takes place in a nearly empty hospital.
But the great thing about Cold Prey 2 is that, as great as the first one is, the sequel is even better.
Sadly, neither film is available on Netflix streaming, but both are available for rent on iTunes.
Watch them back to back -- they're a GREAT double feature!
p.s. -- unfortunately, Cold Prey 3, a prequel to the first two, has never been available in an English dubbed or subtitled version -- so unless you speak Norwegian, you're shit out of luck. I hope that will change, since I for one would really like to see it.