So it's Friday, March 11, 2011. Monday I turned forty-one, which is just...fuck. I mean, how that THAT happen? All right, don't get cute -- one word of how in the spring of 1969, my mom and dad...you know... Seriously, I'll punch you right in the face.
Okay, Sean -- so what's your blog going to be about? What will the tone be? The subject? And who do you think will even care enough about your yawn-inducing staggering through the years to spend valuable caloric exertion reading it?
I don't know.
No, really I don't.
I mean, okay -- I've got a few Facebook friends, and on occasion they think my bullshit is funny (or at least that's what they tell me -- to my face), but sometimes I just want to have a little more go at it. The status updates only give you so much space. They can be a bit confining -- and maybe I just want to say a little more.
Before I forget, a quick word about the ADULT CONTENT warning you may or may not have seen.
Don't be concerned -- there are not going to be any nude pictures or crap here. It's just that I... Well, I tend to swear. A lot.
Look, I don't drink -- I don't smoke -- I don't do drugs. I work out like a fiend six days a week, and try to limit my intake of junk food. So, I think I've earned the right to say "shit" once in a while. Or "fuck". Or "bullshit". And, just as further warning, if I'm talking about Sarah Palin, you'll probably hear "cunt" with alarming regularity.
However, what you most likely won't hear is "queer" or "faggot", or any bullshit like that -- and certainly not "gay" in the genuinely pejorative sense (which means that the word "gay" used in the trailer for 'The Dilemma' doesn't fucking count, okay? I mean, seriously -- if that truly, deeply offended you, you really need to pick your battles a little better). I'm a lot of things, but homophobic I'm not. I support gay marriage -- and for the record, if you voted in support of Prop 8, or you think two men getting married is the end of civilization, then you may want to go elsewhere. And if you're some Fred Phelps fuck who pickets outside of funerals with "God Hates Fags" signs, then do me a favor -- kill yourself. I'm not even kind of being funny. I'm dead serious. Kill yourself. Because I fucking guarantee you that if you ever show up at the funeral of one of my loved ones spouting your bullshit, I will burn your house down with you and your whole family in it. Try me.
I also love movies (nice segue, huh?), and maybe I'll be posting my thoughts about them here. I'm a proud, card-carrying member of the Lucas/Spielberg generation, so my tastes will often hover in that rarefied realm of nostalgia. I saw Star Wars in theaters the first time it came out. In 1977. Yeah, I'm that old. Did you not read the very first fucking paragraph?
You know what? I don't know what this will be exactly. A work in progress -- so to speak.
So have a great day, and hopefully I will talk to you soon.